Looks like I’m in an all lovey-dovey mood today 
Well… how many times have you heard this – ‘If you love someone, set her free. If she comes back, she’s yours. If she doesn’t, she never was.’ I’ve heard it like some zillion times till date… and each time I’ve heard this, I felt something’s wrong in there… and finally I know what!
Do you really think that if you love someone and that someone, for some reason, feels detached or slipping out of the relationship, you should just set them free and let them be and actually slip out? No. I don’t think so. What if that someone feel that this person just doesn’t care whether I’m there or not… I think one should make an effort, never let them go, hold them, trust them, love them, and cherish them. You can’t just ‘let it be’ if you see the love fading out, provided you really are in love… you must work on it!
There are so many times in any relationship when you feel everything is just falling apart… imagine if no one makes an effort at that point and just keep singing this stupid quote in their minds, it will actually fall apart. I mean how would the person know what he/she means?
i don’t say that if you love someone, keep them in a cage…you can’t. But don’t just take it for granted that they will come back to you in any case…in teh times of adversity, you need to tell them that they are needed back…. only if you LOVE someone!
[...] thoughtcourt wrote an interesting post today onHere’s a quick excerptWell… how many times have you heard this – ‘If you blove/b someone, set her free. If she comes back, she’s yours. If she doesn’t, she never was.’ I’ve heard it like some zillion times till date… and each time I’ve heard this, b…/b [...]
lol! I’ve heard that one a million times too! thanks to my friends who keep forwarding such shitty messages!
I completely agree what u said! couldnt have said better!
-I
Thanks Impressionist!
On lighter notes, sentence is,
“If you love someone, set her free. If she comes back, she’s yours. If she doesn’t, she never was.”
not
“If you love someone, set HIM free. If HE comes back, He’s yours. If He doesn’t, He never was.”
That’s the perception difference between, MEN and WOMEN. I am not an expert but just can think this way, that girls take time to make any decision in case of relationship, but boys does not take that much time, so girl should not set a GUY free, because, he may not come back. But girl consider so many things, so if she is thinking of breaking then boy should just give her space, and don’t force his emotions on her.
Well… first of all I’ve used the correct quote here…
And secondly… I think that’s not what men really think… its just that they don’t want to make that effort…it hurts their f***ing ego! So, they just take the easy way out (mentioned in this quote)!
I agree with you here dear. Love also means reassurance! Sometimes people runaway because they are insecure and frightened! Two small words, “I’m here” can make all the difference!
Yeah… at times they run away and at times they let u go away just because they can’t say those 2 simple words… they think it would portray them as ‘weak’!
I have no idea how I ran into your page. Absolutely no idea at all. But anyway i think I should leave my view on this as I came across this post first after some random eye movement (while awake
of the home.
The version that i have always been familiar with is the following :
“If you love a bird, let it go. If it doesn’t come back, it never loved you anyway. If it loves you, it will come back.”.
In my personal humble opinion I think this quote is deep. Maybe the version you quoted sounds a little shallow. But the basic meaning it conveys holds tremendous depth.
This does not mean that you just leave the person you love free literally to the extent that you don’t pay attention if the other person feels detached and is on a low with the relationship. It just means give that person his / her own personal space. Let him/her the freedom we all want and don’t allow the relationship to reach a stage (by constant poking, doubting etc) that it becomes a liability. The quote is something based on trust.
Ofcourse it does not mean that you don’t spend time, allow him/her to slip away if there is a problem. In those times you do need to make the other person feel wanted and desired and help him/her in coming out of it. It does not talk of that bond, that bond should always be strong (it does not mean free that way), it talks of trust.
This quote does not mean that you take no effort if everything is falling apart. You know I don’t think it is a good idea to take any quote or any idea for that matter on face value and taking it at face value or dogmatically, everything can have some good meaning no matter how little.
To sum up it means allow your partner to be free, trust him/her, love him/her unconditionally (that way free), don’t become so possessive that it becomes a liability. You know after a point most people become over-expecting, some even start doubting slightly and want more attention just because they think that he/she is giving more attention to other people and things and that is one reason that can lead to a downslide in relationships. A relationship can only bloom when there is mutual trust and respect for each others individuality. If there is mutual trust then a person would never worry about the things I mentioned in the previous sentence and would avoid insecurity. It has nothing to in my humble opinion with leaving a partner “free” in other meanings. I hope I could make my point home.
Regards and Best of Luck for things.
- Shubhendu
Thanks for ur views shubhendu… and i understand this meaning of the quote… but my post was for people who do not make efforts to save their relationships just because this quote says so
Well I did think that (that you know that) reading one of your posts. This post seemed a little out of place that way. Maybe you should have given a conditions apply disclaimer.
You know that dreaded asterix.
Hmm… will keep that in mind
this is what we’re familiar with -
‘ if you love someone, & you dont want to let them go, dont let go, go to the end of the rainbow ‘
this means something to us, seeing it inspired every single one of our relationships.
we hope it helps all our babs out there
xxxxxxxxx
this is what we’re familiar with -
‘ if you love someone, & you dont want to let them go, dont let go, go to the end of the rainbow ‘
this means something to us, seeing it inspired every single one of our relationships.
we hope it helps all our babs out there
xxxxxxxxx
Katilda $ Sarahbeena… thanks for that thought!
I find the very expression, “if u love someone, set him/her free” fundamentally flawed… does this essentially work on the presumption that if u love someone, he is under your effective detention (and thus needs rescuing or being freed?).
i would say only when someone is as free as freedom itself, then and then only love can happen… true love, i mean…
i know you didnt mean to say this in your post but just wanted to add this dimension to it. loved whatever you write here though.
your this post was particularly timely for me as where i stand in my life today, i need to set her free; not to know whether she loves me or not, but because i know there isnt any more loving left in our relationship… sad! but human relationships are as complicated as the creation itself… lets keep trying to decipher it… cheers!
Sanju that’s a very valid dimension… didn’t think that ways
You know sanju…what i have realized with time is that love can never end… if you’ve ever loved someone you’ll always love that person… till eternity… even if u 2 separate…so don’t say there’s no more loving left… you guys might be angry with each other right now but love doesn’t end… its very difficult to make relations and very easy to break them so hang on if u can…
ummm…. ya. i tend to agree with you. but this “hanging on to a relationship for the sake of not breaking it” is what we have been doing for years now and thats the cliff on which most marriages hinge upon (most marriages? thats quite an awful presumption… no?) until ofcourse, one of the two, maya or dev find each other! as i told you, i am passing through such phase right now, cannt think straight really… so taking it easy, one step at a time… i do love what you write here… this is just second visit and i feel at home already on your blog. lets keep chit chatting, cheers!
well… i’m glad i could provide some comfort to you… but then.. as all of us…you would know wats best for u. Whatever you do, do it will full conviction…good luck!
And yeah… we sure will keep chit-chatting
[...] very strange observation… my post “If you love someone, don’t set them free” has really been popular and even more outlandish is the fact that so many people hunt for this quote [...]
i agree
I did that.. and you know what, it worked.
I can say that: If you truly are in-love with someone, hold them, even if they’re stabbing your hands with a sharp knife.
+_+
Star Cruz… I am glad
See, If You Love Someoen, That You Actually Dont Know,
I Have That Problem And sometime’s i get so strong so i can
Do * Lighting Strike * Around My Self, It’s hard to explain
Cos How Do You Get that strong? well its a question About Love, I took a truck and lifted it over my head, bcus of that *love* See I’m Satanic, And yes, i do know the answaer, when you get that broken, you BRAIN, Dont Work’s Until you relax again, so in the Time that you brain dont work’s you can do Crazy thing’s but it has a very High Risk Bcus you cant Control your self, But try think you Do actually get over Naturely Strong’nes, But if you ever come in that Moment where you lose your mind, DO NOT BE MAD AT SOMEOEN THAT JUST SAID SOMETHINGS STUPID TO YOU, BCUS HE WILL SUFFER,
I Hope You Folk’s Enjoy This Post AS, None-Satainc’Truth
See, If You Love Someoen, That You Actually Dont Know,
I Have That Problem And sometime’s i get so strong so i can
Do * Lighting Strike * Around My Self, It’s hard to explain
Cos How Do You Get that strong? well its a question About Love, I took a truck and lifted it over my head, bcus of that *love* See I’m Satanic, And yes, i do know the answaer, when you get that broken, you BRAIN, Dont Work’s Until you relax again, so in the Time that you brain dont work’s you can do Crazy thing’s but it has a very High Risk Bcus you cant Control your self, But try think you Do actually get over Naturely Strong’nes, But if you ever come in that Moment where you lose your mind, DO NOT BE MAD AT SOMEOEN THAT JUST SAID SOMETHINGS STUPID TO YOU, BCUS HE WILL SUFFER, Ofg
I Hope You Folk’s Enjoy This Post AS, None-Satainc’Truth
See, If You Love Someoen, That You Actually Dont Know,
I Have That Problem And sometime’s i get so strong so i can
Do * Lighting Strike * Around My Self, It’s hard to explain
Cos How Do You Get that strong? well its a question About Love, I took a truck and lifted it over my head, bcus of that *love* See I’m Satanic, And yes, i do know the answaer, when you get that broken, you BRAIN, Dont Work’s Until you relax again, so in the Time that you brain dont work’s you can do Crazy thing’s but it has a very High Risk Bcus you cant Control your self, But try think you Do actually get over Naturely Strong’nes, But if you ever come in that Moment where you lose your mind, DO NOT BE MAD AT SOMEOEN THAT JUST SAID SOMETHINGS STUPID TO YOU, BCUS HE WILL SUFFER,
I Hope You Folk’s Enjoy This Post AS, None-Satainc’Truth
I Will Suffer The Rest OF My Life Time, Bcus i realy love someoen who i dont know in real life.
Hi Sakshi,
Your posts are quite interesting. I might actually take the help of your relationship counseling soon..but I believe the relationship I am talking about no longer exists. And in reference to your post, that’s what I used to believe, If you love someone, you should not let them go…but you know what? when the time comes, and the other person decides to leave, no matter how hard you try, they will never return to you. Why the person left me, is still unclear to me..because I was never provided with a reason. Ofcourse we know of the famous terms – circumstances…not ready…etc etc. but for me it was out of the blue moon! So I really didn’t ave anything to fight back and make sure that the person doesn’t go…but he did…
So I guess when its not meant to be, it won’t work out anyway ?
I agree with what your saying, but what can one do, when the other guy says that he needs space, if you try to reason it out, he considers it clingging. at that point i may have no choice but to let him go, since he is already gone to begin with, and probably didn’t love me…..i know that he knows till date i love him, but i know he doesn’t love me that is why he married someone else and did not come back. sometimes there is no choice but if someone wants to leave, to let them.
I chanced on ur blog while navigating. And really liked ur posts. Got this out of archive.
When I read, I had some opinion to write, but as I kept on reading the comments and experiences of people a different view emerged.
Love is a complete Overrated Feeling or Thing for that matter.
I consider myself a very passionate and romantic person, but when I dvelve deeper into the subject of Love with a person, my opinions change.
Been in and out of it couple of times. And I believe its most beautiful when you are in it, like a Beautiful Dream of childhood. With all fairytale ingrediants.
But if you HAVE to get out of it, for any reason; it needs some effort, lots of self-inflicting pain, self-sympathy and what not!
But once you are out of it, it is like it was never there before.
And it all seems so noraml, with no regrets of being in it and no pain of now being out of it.
So, this entire hoopla of Letting Go or tie done is not exactly about Love as I understand, its more about Relationship(s).
And how to tend them, nurture them and keep them alive.
wow, mePretentious, you nailed it! thats what i meant when i said “there is no loving left”. Once you are “out” of it, you really are out of it. if you still feel the “love” is still there, it only means that you were never really out of it!
really good stuff.
kudos sak for providing the platform.
cheers.
Thanks
well….what better post for me to read..am going thru a very bad time where i dont want to let go off my love of 6 years but my family is pressurising me to…pl guide me what to do
hey..i hope what i mailed helps you…good luck!